Random Sampling of Activities for around Your House

Random Sampling of Activities for around the House:

Ever hear your own children whine, “You never let me do that”? I think, “Yes, you are right…and aren’t you glad that I have come to (or lost, as the case may be!) my senses in time for your child to benefit? I am no longer responsible for the moral and ethical and civilizing rearing of a child or children. That’s their parents’ job. I will aid and abet (or maybe just follow the doctors’ guiding precept of “first, do no harm”), and try to hold up my end as far as outrageous or egregious behavior goes, but I am here for the FUN……

Here are some easily implemented ideas, low on cost but high on enjoyment and repetition. And any time you can incorporate music along with the activity, you simply make a good idea better.

-Buy or make gallons of bubble mix, and a variety of wands in all sizes. Try the dollar store, or local bargain basement.
Keep old aprons or past-their-prime shirts for the children to wear while mastering the art of bubble blowing. Accept that
they will get wet and they will spill, so don’t have them set up on the living room rug. Outdoors is always a good bet. Sing
and dance and whoop it up….never mind what the neighbors think. They are probably just envious anyhow.

-Make something together. Even from a very young age they can be involved in beating, mixing, and licking the bowl and
beaters. Brownies and Jell-O and puddings are all quick, easy, not too messy, and surefire hits. If you use instant puddings,
the product is ready very quickly and you do not have to teach delayed gratification to a 14 month old. However, the
brownie batter sure does taste good! Again, be sure to have a smock or old shirt around, and move anything that might
not do well all smudged or wet out of the way. Be sure to keep your camera handy, as these shots can be just precious. If
possible, keep a stock of these things someplace where the child can help in the preparation by finding and bringing the
product or the mixing bowl to you. Children really like to be actively involved in whatever it is you are doing. Remember the
science teacher who never let you actually do an experiment? You gathered around this paragon of virtue and got to watch
him or her having all the fun? How did you feel then?

-Plant and/or water things together, inside or out. Most living, non-human things used to become kamikazes once they realized they were headed into my domain, and so just jump out of the container on the way in to avoid the inevitable pain and suffering they would endure at my hands. But recently I’ve noticed that I actually have several plants alive in the house, and
pictures from last summer clearly show flowers blooming in the beds alongside the house. I can only attribute these phenomena to the presence and loving attention of the grandchildren…although I do recall several drownings when the watering can became too unwieldy or something distracted the pourer and it all gushed forth…Anyhow, they just love deadheading, weed-pulling, and even occasionally picking a flower or two to give to Mom, a real heart-pleaser.

-Keep crayons, colored pencils, washable magic markers and washable paints in a storage bin, along with plenty of blank
paper, which you can buy quite reasonably at aforementioned bargain stores. Also save newspapers to put down on whatever surface you are using for this activity. It will save you from trying to hide your horror at the big red slash across your tabletop later on! Again, play music (any type except not something that is going to make them want to “shake their booty”, at least not while this is going on) and maybe offer a lollipop, or popcorn, or something that won’t spill or take on the color of whatever medium they are using. When they are past the stage of putting everything in their mouths, modeling clay can be lots of fun. This is an excellent opportunity for creativity and responsibility, as you will certainly encourage their imaginations and then insist that they clean up to the best of their age-appropriate abilities. We do them no favors if we let them just abandon their materials and move on to something else, but if you clean up together, making it fast and fun, they will quickly assimilate that this is how it is at the grandparents’ house. Use your refrigerator to post their creations, and as early as possible, try to get them to sign them somehow.

-Puzzles are fun to do together, and today most come with age ranges posted on the cover. Larger, bigger puzzles are appropriate for beginners, and then gradually as they become more adept at manipulating the pieces, you can move to smaller and more numerous pieces. Most children’s rooms in local libraries have puzzles you can borrow the same way you borrow books, videos, dvds, books on tape, puppets, etc., so you don’t need to spend a lot of money to acquire these. If you observe closely you can then see what type of puzzles individual children gravitate to, and at gift-giving time you can present him or her with one you know will be liked.

-Books, book, and more books. I keep mine in milk crates. Right now they need to be sorted and divided, because the children range in age from 7 months to 10 years, and the books are all mixed in together. Soon I will post a list of much loved books, and recommended age ranges, and also invite you readers to add your selections for books and ideas for activities in the comment section of each blog….or email them to me at karen.weinhold@comcast.net. I plan to beg, borrow and steal ideas for these postings with reckless abandon and no apologies……

Tip #4: Keep your house supplied with low or no cost materials with which you can engage your grandchild/children during both planned and unplanned (aka “emergency”) visits.
And even though you are no longer responsible for their discipline, you will like them a whole lot more if you establish
protocols for behavior both during and after these activities. Some suggestions are no standing while coloring/painting,
no running while holding bubble mix, no chasing each other with beaters full of batter, and always, always, always
encourage using the potty before beginning any of the above!

Establishing "traditions" at your house

Create "usual and customary" practices which happen primarily at your house.

"Are we having Grampy cereal for breakfast today?"

"Can we ride bikes and yell down the drains and play forts?"

"Is it tubby time, Grammy? Can we have the bubble bath? Who gets the big boat first?"

Establish territorial rights from the very beginning. There need to be house specialties, things that the children expect and rely on that happen only at your house. Where do they sit for meals? Do you have placemats just for them? Drinking cups? Plates? What do they do while they are visiting with you? Do you have a place for their toys, games, and puzzles? Do you have a selection of books from which you read to them regularly?

Try to encourage your own children not to usurp these things. If there is a particular food, book, activity, etc. that the children gravitate to, make every attempt to keep it for your house. Our own children love to see their children having fun, eating with relish, snuggling in for a good read, and if you do not have this conversation very early on with them, they will try to replicate whatever you've done at their own homes. Because this can be a delicate issue, if you can have this conversation pre-birth it will be easier!

Our neighborhood is a veritable world of wonder. We began with rides in the red wagon, and slowly graduated to a variety of three-wheeled transports, almost all bought at yard sales. We also keep an array of helmets on hand so that their parents don't have to remember to bring them. It is amazing to me what a treasure trove our street held: water drains where we can kneel and holler, "Hello down there" and experience echoing voices, tossing pebbles in to hear "Kerplunk!" sounds; trees with squirrels and birds; houses with all kinds of seasonal decorations; flowers and gardens galore. When I first began our forays, I suddenly saw things that had been there all along, but which I had never noticed before. Now the children have regular visiting places, anticipated activities as we go around, and even people with whom they stop to talk. It costs nothing, and yet is among the most enjoyable of the traditions of "visiting Grammy's and Grampa's" that we've created. When there is more than one child, especially when they are quite young, it is best to have both grandparents accompany them as you never know what needs arise......from skinned knees to potty calls to broken pedals. And don't forget to take your camera! Amazing, simple, candid shots abound on these journeys.

Another thing the children just love to do that costs nothing is to play dress up. A former student gave me two bags of her dance costumes, and I purchased hats, boas, batons, swords, etc. at yard sales. Find musical instruments they can play, and keep antiseptic wipes around to hold down the exchange of germs. A closet holds these things, in shopping bags, easily accessible for them from the time they are three. How they love to try on these outfits, dance in, parade through the house to music, and admire themselves in the mirror. If you shoot enough pictures you can make a great photo show which you can email to them to remind them of how much fun they had. Be careful if you have stairs as traversing them "en costume" can be quite treacherous.

Get a few cds with children's songs on them, and then sing and dance to them together. The hokey pokey is a great place to start. Once they can stand alone, even the least coordinated or rhythmically challenged can shake a foot or toss in a right hand. Skipping is quite an advanced skill, so don't try it too early. One rule we have insisted upon is "no running in the house". You don't want them getting hurt on your watch! (just in case, wise to buy a box of themed bandaids to keep on hand!) We also try to designate "inside" and "outside" toys, some of which seem obvious (bubble mix only outside), but some can be either. We only roll balls inside, but practice soccer kicks, badminton shots and t-ball pitching and hitting outside.

If you have sleepovers, be sure you know what their nighttime routines are; this can make or break the experience. If they usually sleep with a nightlight, or in total darkness, or have a set pattern to their going to bed, you need to know these things beforehand. "Curtain calling" can be a problem, and you will be amazed at how creative they can be at finding ways to delay the inevitable. It is critically important that you respond the first one or two times, but then you need to firmly establish that it is time to go to sleep. You may even need to lie down with them until they feel safe and secure, but do not let them cajole you into getting up as you will just have to start the whole process all over again. Make sure they know where you are when they wake up, and, if they are quite young, ask their parents to provide you with monitors.

Tip #3: Try to get your children to leave their children alone with you! Having your grandchildren with you without their parents around is simply delightful! They all know how to push their parents' buttons (and soon will learn how to wrap you around their fingers too!), but you will find it much easier to interact with them (dare I say discipline?) if it is just you and them. Children need the consistency of love and boundaries, and yet will respond if you hold them to whatever you establish. Naturally they will make every attempt to change your mind, but hold firm!

I would love to hear from other grandparents about "traditions" you have established in your homes; we can never have too large a repertoire of these!

How to Give Meaningful Gifts

Time is more precious than money.

The most precious gift you can give is the gift of time: to read, to listen, to play.

To begin with, there is technology. Do you "get" it? Have you played on a Wii, or Playstation, or an X-box? Are you familiar with the i-pod, MP3, Leapster, or do you even know about Webkinz? Slowly we are learning about these things, but by the time we "get up to speed", the children will have moved on to the next best thing, and we will be swirling in the thick mist of our technological fog. How, then, do we give gifts that won't be the equivalent of the ugly hats and hand-knit sweaters of past generations?

When our first grandchild was born ten years ago, we were still using a 35 mm camera. Digital may have been on the market, but not in our price range or knowledge base yet! We took hundreds of pictures, and created small photo albums whose home was our living room coffee table. Within a very short time we've added 8 more grandchildren and, for each, his/her own picture album. Megan burst through the door one day asking, "Want to read a book about me?", grabbed her book, and curled up in the recliner with Grampa. Each child visits his or her book regularly, checking to see if there are any recent additions. The older kids know where the archives are upstairs, and when they need pictures for projects at school, will ask permission to rifle through and remove (always with a promise of returning the picture, rarely kept!) whatever they need for their report or story. These photo "books" have been the most popular, long-lasting gift we've created to date. The challenge now is to remember to select images to print for the albums. Often I make photo shows which I email to them, or put the memory card in the digital picture frame for constant viewing, and forget to update......but then they remind me when there have been no new pictures for awhile.

Magazine subscriptions also are a meaningul, year-long gift you can begin quite early with publications designed for pre-schoolers. We began Noah's subscription to National Geographic Kids when he was 6. When I asked him in the fall what he would like for Christmas he said, "I get a present in the mail from you guys all the time, Grammy and Grampa. It's like I have 12 birthdays!" At 9 years old, he is accustomed now to expecting good things to arrive by snail mail. Go to your local library and peruse the many magazine offerings for children before choosing. Check some out and try engaging your grandchild in pictures and text explorations. Look at the suggested age range; often we need help in determining present capabilities. Of course all of our grandchildren are total genuises and could be subscribing to Mensa, but if you want them to actually read and enjoy your gift, try to find an age-appropriate one as well as one that taps into the child's interests.



Similar guidelines exist for the selecting games. So many choices today are electronic, but the children will enjoy the old-fashioned ones such as card games. There are early childhood versions of "Go Fish", "Old Maid", etc., that use pictures, and "junior" versions of adult games such as Scrabble, Monopoly, Rummikub, etc. We bought ourselves a paperback rule book for card games as we could not remember how to play "Crazy Eights" or even "Slapjack". (Don't teach them "War" unless you are prepared to play endless games of it for several years). You can find these rules online too. Skip-Bo is a great game for learning numbers and sequencing, and encompasses a wide age range. They also love "Clue", "Battleship", "Sorry", "Parchesi", "Chutes and Ladders", "Candyland", "Uno" and "Yahtzee". Caveat: you cannot give games or cards to children and expect that they will want to learn how to play. You have to include the gift of time. You have to be willing to sit down with them and slowly walk them through the steps of play and introduce the idea that the enjoyment is in the journey (the playing), and not necessarily in the winning. Obviously the object of any game is to win, yet the idea that participating in the game is almost as much fun has to be reinforced.....constantly. Discuss sportsmanship openly, and tell them how much you enjoy just playing the game with them. You will need buckets of patience, but the reward is that they will learn and look forward to your visits with much greater enthusiasm if they know you are going to take the time to play with them.


Tip #2: The most precious gift you have to offer is your time.

Time to read a book about them. Time to help them find pictures to tell their stories or do their reports for school. Time to research appropriate magazine choices and then show them all the things you can find in a magazine. Time to instruct and patiently play games with them. Time to hug and snuggle and listen.

A recent question from my 9 year old grandson caused me to reflect on how we had arrived at this point in time.....

Merrily we go along, through adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, children, careers, and, finally, empty nest. How sweet it is! Then, out of the blue, you receive word that you are going to be a grandparent, sometime in the next nine months. It takes awhile to adjust to the whole concept, including looking in the mirror and trying to reconcile the image there with your mental image of what a grandparent looks like. Perhaps you conjure up your own grandparents, white haired, retiring, knitting or smoking a pipe, puttering about in the kitchen or workshop, and none of this fits with how you see yourself. You are active, nutritionally aware, politically involved, and not quite ready to settle into a rocker for life.

Recently our nine year old grandson touched the fleshy part of my upper arm, hanging grossly from where I leaned on one of the signs in the Magic Kingdom, trying to keep upright for the two remaining hours we had left there. "What's this?" he queried, giving it just enough of a push to send it almost up and over, like one of those gymnastic high bar revolutions. "Just aging flesh", I responded, "and it could be deadly if it hits you upside your head!". He took a step back, studied my face, and broke into a wide grin. "If you don't like it, why don't you 'go under the knife and get rid of it?' he asked in all seriousness. I thought, "How can we be having this conversation? How did I get this large, flapping mass, and how can he know about 'going under the knife'? Why does he feel comfortable enough to ask me about this?" And therein lies the crux of my website. I plan to share anecdotes, hints, suggestions, tips, warnings, land mines and other hidden traps, to help you successfully navigate the world of grandparenting in the 21st century. I hope you will ask questions, offer ideas and tips of your own, and establish a place where we can be completely candid about both the joys and tribulations of this new phase of our lives. So, here goes:

-Tip #1: Keep your mouth shut. Perfect the art of smiling and nodding. You will not have to eat your words if they haven't actually fallen out of your mouth. For the first few weeks, until some crisis occurs (such as fever, failure to nurse, rash, sleeplessness, etc.) your advice will be interpreted as criticism, even if delivered in soothing, dulcet tones. Wait to be asked, and then remember that the minimalist road is the safest bet. Watch the questioner's eyes and mouth for signs that you are overstepping your boundary. Do not let your desire to help betray you into sinking your ship with verbiage. Just offer options, and then clamp your jaws shut. This advice will hold true from infancy to adulthood, but you will become quite attuned to the nuances of both facial and body language, and able to "dummy up' with lightning speed. If you read no further, take no other words of advice from this website, heed this admonition, and you will be well on your way to becoming a successful, valued grandparent.