Merrily we go along, through adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, children, careers, and, finally, empty nest. How sweet it is! Then, out of the blue, you receive word that you are going to be a grandparent, sometime in the next nine months. It takes awhile to adjust to the whole concept, including looking in the mirror and trying to reconcile the image there with your mental image of what a grandparent looks like. Perhaps you conjure up your own grandparents, white haired, retiring, knitting or smoking a pipe, puttering about in the kitchen or workshop, and none of this fits with how you see yourself. You are active, nutritionally aware, politically involved, and not quite ready to settle into a rocker for life.
Recently our nine year old grandson touched the fleshy part of my upper arm, hanging grossly from where I leaned on one of the signs in the Magic Kingdom, trying to keep upright for the two remaining hours we had left there. "What's this?" he queried, giving it just enough of a push to send it almost up and over, like one of those gymnastic high bar revolutions. "Just aging flesh", I responded, "and it could be deadly if it hits you upside your head!". He took a step back, studied my face, and broke into a wide grin. "If you don't like it, why don't you 'go under the knife and get rid of it?' he asked in all seriousness. I thought, "How can we be having this conversation? How did I get this large, flapping mass, and how can he know about 'going under the knife'? Why does he feel comfortable enough to ask me about this?" And therein lies the crux of my website. I plan to share anecdotes, hints, suggestions, tips, warnings, land mines and other hidden traps, to help you successfully navigate the world of grandparenting in the 21st century. I hope you will ask questions, offer ideas and tips of your own, and establish a place where we can be completely candid about both the joys and tribulations of this new phase of our lives. So, here goes:
-Tip #1: Keep your mouth shut. Perfect the art of smiling and nodding. You will not have to eat your words if they haven't actually fallen out of your mouth. For the first few weeks, until some crisis occurs (such as fever, failure to nurse, rash, sleeplessness, etc.) your advice will be interpreted as criticism, even if delivered in soothing, dulcet tones. Wait to be asked, and then remember that the minimalist road is the safest bet. Watch the questioner's eyes and mouth for signs that you are overstepping your boundary. Do not let your desire to help betray you into sinking your ship with verbiage. Just offer options, and then clamp your jaws shut. This advice will hold true from infancy to adulthood, but you will become quite attuned to the nuances of both facial and body language, and able to "dummy up' with lightning speed. If you read no further, take no other words of advice from this website, heed this admonition, and you will be well on your way to becoming a successful, valued grandparent.
Recently our nine year old grandson touched the fleshy part of my upper arm, hanging grossly from where I leaned on one of the signs in the Magic Kingdom, trying to keep upright for the two remaining hours we had left there. "What's this?" he queried, giving it just enough of a push to send it almost up and over, like one of those gymnastic high bar revolutions. "Just aging flesh", I responded, "and it could be deadly if it hits you upside your head!". He took a step back, studied my face, and broke into a wide grin. "If you don't like it, why don't you 'go under the knife and get rid of it?' he asked in all seriousness. I thought, "How can we be having this conversation? How did I get this large, flapping mass, and how can he know about 'going under the knife'? Why does he feel comfortable enough to ask me about this?" And therein lies the crux of my website. I plan to share anecdotes, hints, suggestions, tips, warnings, land mines and other hidden traps, to help you successfully navigate the world of grandparenting in the 21st century. I hope you will ask questions, offer ideas and tips of your own, and establish a place where we can be completely candid about both the joys and tribulations of this new phase of our lives. So, here goes:
-Tip #1: Keep your mouth shut. Perfect the art of smiling and nodding. You will not have to eat your words if they haven't actually fallen out of your mouth. For the first few weeks, until some crisis occurs (such as fever, failure to nurse, rash, sleeplessness, etc.) your advice will be interpreted as criticism, even if delivered in soothing, dulcet tones. Wait to be asked, and then remember that the minimalist road is the safest bet. Watch the questioner's eyes and mouth for signs that you are overstepping your boundary. Do not let your desire to help betray you into sinking your ship with verbiage. Just offer options, and then clamp your jaws shut. This advice will hold true from infancy to adulthood, but you will become quite attuned to the nuances of both facial and body language, and able to "dummy up' with lightning speed. If you read no further, take no other words of advice from this website, heed this admonition, and you will be well on your way to becoming a successful, valued grandparent.
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