Water water everywhere

Water water everywhere!

As the March winds herald change, we look forward to warmer weather and outdoor activities, most of which will include water in some form or other. During the long winter months we had to console ourselves with playing in the tub, or in the jacuzzi or pool at the mountain house (our one week at our timeshare in the mountains). Wherever we are, water is a natural magnet, and you are well advised to just accept it and adapt. Try to figure ways to make it work in your favor.
For the tub we have bubble bath, plastic Cool Whip containers (a big favorite for dumping water on your head for hair washing and for floating small toys and creatures), foam alphabet blocks which can spell words and stick to the side wall, and lots of action figures, mermaids, boats, etc. They also like bottle scrubbers and washcloths. A few of our favorite tub songs include the Beatles “Yellow Submarine”, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”, and the very best, “Splish Splash I was Taking a Bath”. The words for all of these can be found online, and the children love to sing in the bubbling water. As you can see, Owen was ready, clothes and all!
For the Jacuzzi we haven’t needed toys because the foaming bubbles keep them entertained. Most of the time they like to wear their suits just because they can. Every now and then they decide to do a nakie dip, but I do not want to get shut down for r-rated content, so I won’t include those pictures here.
For the yard we bought a very inexpensive Winnie-the-Pooh sprinkler which attaches to the hose. Not only do the kids love playing “chicken” with it, but it also gets our lawn watered at the same time. And after they’re done, they love to play games with the towels draped over their heads. This is also a great way to rinse off upon returning full of sand from the beach.
Children can begin to enjoy the various pools and beach at a very young age. Our daughters have small wading pools for the infants and toddlers; Owen is very young here in his green frog outfit lounging in his tube in the wading pool. One of our daughters has a large above ground pool, and we tend to gravitate there in the summer. We all try to pitch in and bring food and accessories so they are not always supplying everything, and everyone also watches all the children. Usually an intrepid adult (not I!) will hop in the larger pool with them and play games and keep them reasonably happily occupied.
Because we live near the ocean, the beach is a major source of entertainment for us, and I plan to do an entire blog on it as the season approaches.
It is helpful to bring juice boxes, fruit or other healthy snacks, wipes and towels wherever you are going. Always use sun block liberally, and be sure it is waterproof. Water is your ally and can occupy the children for hours if you have them safely lathered and are prepared to water and feed them periodically. We have not bought a lot of fancy toys as they only lose them or fight over them. What they truly like the most is having their cousins with them to share whatever water adventure we are doing.

Tip #17: Water is one of your best sources of entertainment for your grandchildren. Use it well and liberally. Keep wipes, sun block, snacks and towels in your car at all times……and don’t forget your camera! Find a milk crate or old laundry basket and throw in things like plastic containers and shovels which can remain there for the whole summer. Sit back, relax, and let their energy and creativity do the rest….but never, ever, take your eyes off them! Oh, and let them splash through those puddles in your driveway, on your street and in your garage. Who cares?

Here Comes Peter Cottontail!

Here Comes Peter Cottontail!

Easter is one of those holidays when many things stay the same while many things change. Since the date is dependent on moons and tides and such, it can be as early as late March and as late as mid-April, which makes it very challenging to know how to dress. In the pictures with snow on the ground the temperatures are actually milder than in some of those with bare ground. Noah is wearing Grampy’s vest because he was freezing during the egg hunt; he could barely pick them up through the shivering.
Each year the day after Easter I hit the usual bargain stores: Target, WalMart, Walgreen’s, the supermarkets, etc., and stock up on the plastic eggs and any other Easter-related “stuff” that will hold up for a year. Today Chuck and I sat with 15 prefilled eggs and 96 empty plastic ones needing filling. We put quarters and a variety of candies in each; mostly I tried to find the stuff unlikely to be in their own baskets at home, such as Smarties and bubble gum. One year I bought little toys and stuffed animals which I thought looked small enough to fit in the larger eggs, but none did, so I abandoned that idea. It is costly enough for what we do put in, but they love the egg hunt. Oh, and one year in my efficiency I placed them outside about two hours before the kids were due, and the squirrels had a wonderful time. They were able to worry them open and dig out the goodies. FYI, they preferred orange jellybeans! Now I wait until we are within a half hour of lift off, and then stand guard, ready to shoo them off with my broomstick should they approach. Quite the picture, huh?
We provide plastic bags for the children, and a very strictly enforced limit. This year with 11 participating (our nephews, 12 and 9, join us for this holiday), and 111 eggs, each will be allowed 10, and I have no idea what to do with the extra one, except that we rarely find them all anyhow. The older children obviously are much more adept at hunting them out, so they then help the younger ones.
Among the traditions we have are the lamb cake (made in a cast iron mold, handed down from Great Nana), and the bunny cake, wildly decorated by the children in whichever home it is being made that year. As the oldest child present, Drew gets to claim the lamb’s head. All are eager for him to either reach adulthood or decide that this nonsense is beneath him, whichever comes first.
Because the weather is totally unpredictable until a day or two before, we never know if we are going to spend the bulk of the day inside or out. Last year it was mild enough to be outside, so we had foam rockets to launch and bubble wands to twirl. Sidewalk chalk is a great choice too. Usually the kids are dressed up, so we don’t want to roughhouse too much and ruin their clothing. Sometimes they bring a change of clothes, particularly if it is going to be warmer. It is difficult for this many children to remain cooped up and behaving in our comfortable but not overly large home, so we try to plan ahead for activities to keep them happy and us sane.
Most families have traditions about holiday meals, and one of ours is that we all eat at the same time, if possible. The children get their meals first, but they know there will be no dessert until everyone is done, so there is no point to hurrying. Sometimes they eat on the picnic table on our (now, finally!) heated four seasons room, and sometimes they crowd around the kitchen table, while the adults populate the dining room. Yes, it necessitates lots of jumping up and back and forth, but, on the whole, it works. The cousins love being together, so it truly doesn’t matter to them where they eat.
One of the pictures included here is of Great Nana holding one of the twins. We did not know at the time that this would be her last Easter with us, and we are so glad we have this picture to show Ryan some day. The last 3 years of her life she was in an assisted living facility, and we would go to great lengths to enable her to be with us on holidays. It was well worth it. She loved the children unconditionally, and boy, did they know it! What a gift to give them, a family circle, filled with love and laughter and, of course, delicious food!

Tip #16: Think ahead to plan activities for the children who are sharing the holiday with you. Whether you are inside or outdoors, having things for them to do will make everyone’s day easier and more pleasant. Try to gather as many family members as you can as your grandchildren will remember long after you are gone that love and laughter happened at your home.

Getting Started

First time around we all tend to buy way too much “stuff” to have at our fingertips in our homes. Probably we are thinking primarily about making it easier for our children to visit with the new baby—the fewer things to tote, the more likely they might be to visit. This thinking can result in way too much spent on things that have a very short use cycle (unless you anticipate storing it somewhere in your house in between births), and are not necessary. What follows are some suggestions (open to editorial comment by all readers!) of the things I have found both useful and comforting to me when the newborns-18 months come calling.

At some point you will need a crib, but not before the baby is at least 3-6 months old. A porta crib which collapses and can be stored in a closet is your best bet. Most infants sleep in their “buckets” or on top of a big bed, surrounded by pillows. Really, they do not move much besides their eyelids and arms at first, and certainly cannot crawl or even wiggle their way off even a twin bed for several weeks. I found a porta crib at the school yard sale; it was almost brand new (owner said she’d used it twice, and it looked it), and I paid $7 for it. It has been used for 7 of the 9 grandkids (it took me awhile to get this smart), and still hardly looks used. You need a sheet for the mattress (try Target or WalMart for inexpensive accoutrements), and a soft blanket. I also bought inexpensive crib, mattress and high chair because I did not want to use items that other children might have chewed or drooled or spit up upon…… call me anal, but I just had an aversion to even the idea…..

Another thing I found very nice to have (and you just need the parents to have this and bring it with them!) is a vibrating infant seat. The motion is almost fool proof in getting even the crankiest infant to sleep. The new swings (again, not necessary, but hopefully parents have one at their house for when you visit them) do not make awful, jarring noises when you wind them…. actually, you don’t wind them because they run on batteries! But you do need someplace to safely put the child when she/he is awake once significant moving is occurring. We have an exer-saucer, purchased at a second hand store and washed with boiling water. Now these “saucers” come in a wide range of sophistication, from the bare bones model to the type with all the bells and whistles. I was feeling badly that we’d purchased a minimalist version until I heard a pediatrician on NPR stating that until he had his own child, he didn’t realize what a bad idea it is to have all those distractions in one place. In fact, he was going to test his theory that it is exactly things like this that foster ADD! Of course I then felt totally affirmed in my (thrifty) decision!

The whole issue of a pacifier can be daunting. Some new parents take an oath of sorts that their new child will never, ever use one. Happily mine did not…..it is worth every penny you spend on it (actually, them, because you need back up!). One problem is the sheer number of choices of styles, make and model, etc. Have you visited the floss aisle lately? You’d best know exactly what you want when you are looking, or you will be totally overwhelmed by the choices. The same is true of pacifiers (aka “binkies” or “plugs”). They are age specific, type specific, and come in a large range of colors and brands. You can easily spend 20 minutes just looking at the display. But when the chips are down and the baby is displaying lung power greater than you’d ever imagined, this little item can be a lifesaver. You can also buy a device that clips onto the baby’s clothing and has the pacifier attached at the other end so it is less likely to get lost, but never leave that on the baby when she/he is sleeping in a place out of your sight.

You will also need a small stash of diapers, but here again the choices are many, and some brands are an anathema to the parents। You can’t miss with a big name brand unless it is environmentally unsound, and you can often find coupons for significant money off. Store and discount brands often do not hold up (literally), and you don’t want to be responsible for the soggy, smelly mess that ensues if it lets go. A small tube of ointment and a small package of wipes complete the care for this aspect. Early on, one of our children had a heated wipe warmer on the dressing table, and I thought to myself (rare that I did not express this thought, but also serendipitous!), how frivolous can you be??? I love them! When the baby wakes in the night, (or even in the day if you keep your house cooler now due to rising oil prices!), the warm wipe does not jar the child awake ….no icy application to sensitive areas….just soothing warmth…॥maybe we should create a similar product for adults, especially those of us “of a certain age”……

For infants, then, you need a pacifier, a bed upon which the baby can sleep, some wipes, diapers and ointment, maybe a soft blanket, but not much else. If you live in an area where the climate is conducive to walking, by all means get a stroller. Most of them recline so you don’t have to have a separate “carriage” in which the infant lies down and a stroller for sitting up. There are so many choices here that my only suggestions are to check Consumer Reports for safety ratings and ask other grandparents what they have used. Because we have twins, we have used a double stroller…..not a bad idea even for singles, as you can put purchases, library books, snacks, etc., in the other seat. Jogging strollers are incredibly lightweight and easy to push, but very expensive brand-new. Double strollers come in two styles: back-to-back and side-by-side. I prefer the back –to-back for sturdiness and visibility (mine) but the side-by-side umbrollers are very easy to manipulate, particularly in smaller places.

Soon I will post again with more tips for things you will need or want to have as the baby grows and develops. This should get you started.

Tip #15: Remember that you are at a stage in your life when you should be thinking of downsizing, and you do not need to add to the junk you’ve already accumulated. Plus you could use that money to get a massage or go to a movie to decompress once the baby departs…..one of the greatest benefits of grandparenthood is that he/she will eventually go home and leave you to your peace and quiet to recover for the next round. And you will so very much appreciate the interlude…..

You Don't Have to Go Back to the Top--duh!

You Don’t Have to Go Back to the Top—Duh!

My memories of sledding never touched upon terror. When Emma and Owen were 4 and 2, I talked the aforementioned neighbor, Traudi, into taking them sliding with me. I knew a perfect place (because I had driven by it so many times, not because I had ever been there), so we bundled them up so that they could barely stand without wobbling, and off we went to this small slope in the next town. Carefully positioning the sleds at the top, we tried to get each one in without losing the sled down the hill. I quickly realized that if I wasn’t very careful, I could easily send Emma plummeting down alone. It took some tricky maneuvering, but eventually we were both in a sled with a child in front, and down the hill we went. My heart was in my throat; I didn’t realize how fast these plastic sleds went on the icy surface, or how steep it was, or how scared I could be. Breaking a limb at my age would not be pretty, and if anything happened to the children……
The kids were shouting with glee when we came to a stop on the uphill slant at the bottom. Traudi seemed to be fine, while I was shaking in my boots. I turned to Emma and asked, “Was that enough? Do you want to go back to the car now?” She looked at me as if I’d gone crazy, and said, “No, I want to go again and again!” I noticed that Traudi and Owen were already headed back up, so I told Emma to get in the sled and started trudging, head down, nerves frayed. I never looked up again until I was back at the top….and saw that our companions were already disembarking at the bottom. Hmmm. How did she do that so fast? Down we went for a second exhilarating (yeh, right!) run, and passed Owen and Traudi on their ascent. I can’t remember if it took me 2,3 or maybe even 4 times to realize that they were not going all the way back to the top. When I caught up with Traudi, finally, she confessed to being a bit unnerved on the first jaunt as well, but she figured out very quickly that there was no need to go all the way back to the top….that you could have a more gentle, less scary slide by simply going only part way back up the slope. The kids were oblivious, and my quaking calmed. How come it took me so long to catch on? I am happy to report that it was a watershed moment for me. Since then the idea that not everything has to be done at mach ten speed, that modification and adaptation are very good strategies, my adventures with my grandchildren are much less harrowing. Sometimes.
Today we head up to our timeshare in the White Mountains which we have owned and used every Feb. vacation since 1988. The children call it our “mountain house”, and they just love it there. In the pictures you can see the four older ones, Noah, Molly, Emma and Owen, all learning to ski, showing off their independence mid-lesson, bundled up to the hilt. Ryan tried on Grampa’s helmet in anticipation, and this year he and his twin brother, Ian, are four, so they will have their first lesson as well. We go for rides on the sled, swim in the pool, build snowmen (an activity grandparents can do better than almost anyone), splash in the Jacuzzi in the condo, and play endless games. We have “mountain house food” (such as hot chocolate, après skiing nachos, popcorn, and Twix bars), things that we normally do not keep in the house. The kids love the whirlpool tub, the Murphy beds, and the fact that we are all there together under one roof. This year Ari and Megan’s folks are bringing them for the first time, and their anticipation is palpable.
Mostly I am not a big fan of the cold outdoors, but when I do venture out I usually have a good time. I take my camera everywhere, cataloguing their progress, recording their snow creations and progress on skis, capturing them making angels in the snow, or playing King of the Mountain. Then I disappear inside, leaving the heartier adults to shiver in the frosty New England outdoors. Grampa is a very good skier and instructor, and he takes over on the mountain once they’ve had initial instructions. It is not a good idea to be the first line of fire when teaching them how to just maneuver. This will also hold true for driving lessons, golf, etc. Let someone else get them started if possible.

Tip #14: There are many ways to adapt play, both in the snow and other mediums…..remember that our bones are brittle and will not mend as easily if we break them!