All the World’s a Stage…..
One of our more in-demand roles is that of audience. Sometimes it is just in our house, when they have put together a skit or a “routine” using costumes and microphones and dance moves we had no idea they knew how to execute. They love to announce their acts, and take bows, and we applaud appreciatively and with gusto, whatever the caliber.
Sometimes we venture to their venues to see them perform. Recently I went to my first karate tournament, and got there in time to watch Noah, almost 10, grapple. Since he had weighed in at one pound into the next weight class, he was a novice in this group, and his mother was skeptical of his chances. When his name was called and his opponent came to the mat, we gasped as he had been paired with King Kong! No kidding, this boy had to have been a full foot taller and 20-30 pounds heavier, and had the aura of one who knows not defeat. Noah astounded us by being the first to attack, and he even got the kid to the mat before being “submitted” in a chokehold. I found I’d been holding my breath the entire time, and was so glad it was over that I loudly exhaled. Since two of his younger siblings were getting restless by then, I gallantly offered to take them to their home and feed them while the rest of the family stayed for Noah’s remaining events. Phew.
Molly was the first to take dance lessons, and the next year she was joined by her brother, Ryan, and her cousin, Megan. Emma lives in a different area, and so her recital was a separate event. Last year it was Molly and Ryan who entertained a whole gaggle of us at the recital. The cousins love to see each other on stage, and delight in bringing flowers to the performers. Depending on what day and what time of day the recital is held, we combine it with either a meal or ice cream to make it more festive. It is great fun for everyone when we go to something as a group to watch other family members perform.
Arianna, the oldest of the children, has been in two school plays, and we have attended both, clapping enthusiastically and bringing flowers as a tribute for her hard work. We have attended kindergarten graduations for Molly and Emma, Christmas pageant at church for Noah, Molly, Ryan and Ian, a bridal show in which Emma was the model flower girl, a Thanksgiving feast, young authors’ sharing, baseball and flag football games….. and we know there are many more to come.
We try to be judicious in what we say “yes” to; at first we felt duty-bound to go to everything, but not anymore. For one thing, with 9 grandchildren, there are just way too many things happening to expect to attend them all. For another, some of them simply do not interest me/us. I never want to go on another school field trip again if I can help it. Because I taught for 36 years, I definitely had my fill. So I decline. Some school performances should be only for the parents; the rooms are crowded, stuffy, and airless, and we think that the parents feel so badly about all of it (how it is impacting us) that it just makes it easier if we stay home. Certainly we will endure less than great conditions if it is truly an important event, but not for every school function that comes along. And that is the true beauty of grand parenting: we don’t have to do it all!
Tip #21: Give yourself a break! Cut yourselves some slack! You have earned the privilege of not having to go to everything in which your grandchild participates; that is, after all, the parents’ obligation. Pick and choose those things you think are the most important, and/or that you would most enjoy. Take lots of pictures, praise lavishly but not hyperbolically, and always find a way to insinuate food into the equation. Perhaps offering to baby-sit for siblings who might be disruptive if they were forced to attend might be a way to compromise, if you are feeling guilty. Above all, foster whatever talents they display, but let them perform for you whenever the spirit moves them. You will remember these moments long after the spotlight fades…..
One of our more in-demand roles is that of audience. Sometimes it is just in our house, when they have put together a skit or a “routine” using costumes and microphones and dance moves we had no idea they knew how to execute. They love to announce their acts, and take bows, and we applaud appreciatively and with gusto, whatever the caliber.
Sometimes we venture to their venues to see them perform. Recently I went to my first karate tournament, and got there in time to watch Noah, almost 10, grapple. Since he had weighed in at one pound into the next weight class, he was a novice in this group, and his mother was skeptical of his chances. When his name was called and his opponent came to the mat, we gasped as he had been paired with King Kong! No kidding, this boy had to have been a full foot taller and 20-30 pounds heavier, and had the aura of one who knows not defeat. Noah astounded us by being the first to attack, and he even got the kid to the mat before being “submitted” in a chokehold. I found I’d been holding my breath the entire time, and was so glad it was over that I loudly exhaled. Since two of his younger siblings were getting restless by then, I gallantly offered to take them to their home and feed them while the rest of the family stayed for Noah’s remaining events. Phew.
Molly was the first to take dance lessons, and the next year she was joined by her brother, Ryan, and her cousin, Megan. Emma lives in a different area, and so her recital was a separate event. Last year it was Molly and Ryan who entertained a whole gaggle of us at the recital. The cousins love to see each other on stage, and delight in bringing flowers to the performers. Depending on what day and what time of day the recital is held, we combine it with either a meal or ice cream to make it more festive. It is great fun for everyone when we go to something as a group to watch other family members perform.
Arianna, the oldest of the children, has been in two school plays, and we have attended both, clapping enthusiastically and bringing flowers as a tribute for her hard work. We have attended kindergarten graduations for Molly and Emma, Christmas pageant at church for Noah, Molly, Ryan and Ian, a bridal show in which Emma was the model flower girl, a Thanksgiving feast, young authors’ sharing, baseball and flag football games….. and we know there are many more to come.
We try to be judicious in what we say “yes” to; at first we felt duty-bound to go to everything, but not anymore. For one thing, with 9 grandchildren, there are just way too many things happening to expect to attend them all. For another, some of them simply do not interest me/us. I never want to go on another school field trip again if I can help it. Because I taught for 36 years, I definitely had my fill. So I decline. Some school performances should be only for the parents; the rooms are crowded, stuffy, and airless, and we think that the parents feel so badly about all of it (how it is impacting us) that it just makes it easier if we stay home. Certainly we will endure less than great conditions if it is truly an important event, but not for every school function that comes along. And that is the true beauty of grand parenting: we don’t have to do it all!
Tip #21: Give yourself a break! Cut yourselves some slack! You have earned the privilege of not having to go to everything in which your grandchild participates; that is, after all, the parents’ obligation. Pick and choose those things you think are the most important, and/or that you would most enjoy. Take lots of pictures, praise lavishly but not hyperbolically, and always find a way to insinuate food into the equation. Perhaps offering to baby-sit for siblings who might be disruptive if they were forced to attend might be a way to compromise, if you are feeling guilty. Above all, foster whatever talents they display, but let them perform for you whenever the spirit moves them. You will remember these moments long after the spotlight fades…..
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