Part One: On Minor Ailments and Illnesses

Remember when our own children were little and got sick? Didn’t it seem like it always happened after 5 pm on Friday, and you had no recourse until the doctor’s office opened again on Monday morning? No one went to the er (now the ed) unless something life-threatening happened. For a brief, stress-relieving but all-too-short period of time a neighboring town had a walk-in clinic. How I loved that place! But, even there, it seemed like fevers and coughs and rashes disappeared as soon as you crossed its threshold! Our children managed to break bones, contract chicken pox (which led to Ryes Syndrome in our son, but that’s for another entry….major!) and mono, scrape, bruise and bump their bodies until we felt well-tested. One of the favorite assignments I used to give my 8th graders was called “Scar Stories”. Students drew stick figures of themselves and labeled the scars they’d acquired up till then. Next they chose one particular scar to write about. If they had a truly riveting story, they could stick to the facts. However, almost all of them chose to go the fiction route, embellishing as little or as much as they needed to create a really, really good story. They loved writing about themselves, but even more, loved the license to use hyperbole. Often they got carried away and had to be reined in….this produced a great lesson on asking your audience to engage in “a willing suspension of disbelief” without going so far it became preposterous.

Because we both worked full time, we had little allowance for staying home, and no back up if a child was truly ill. One of us had to then miss work, so our children went to school as long as they could sit up and take nourishment. One immediate ticket to stay home was, of course, fever. If you stayed home, you did nothing. You did not play video games (well, there were none!) or get up and run around (even if you miraculously recovered midday) nor anything else that resembled “fun”. Maybe they watched a little TV. We had standard remedies: chicken noodle soup, cheese toast, ginger ale, Jell-O, popsicles, etc. Even today our children agreed that it was much better to drag your aching body out to school then to endure a day at home.

What is it like today for your grandchildren? Blessedly many have almost immediate phone and even office-visit access to help. It still amazes me how quickly a child can get seen. This is a definite improvement. People using them as they used to use a regular doctor today overwhelm the ed departments. Many do not have health insurance (and I am sure that number is only going to increase in this terrible job economy), and thus have no other recourse. You can literally wait for half a day or night to be seen there. Thermometers and other diagnostic instruments are much more precise and user friendly. The Internet provides instant answers to worrisome questions (though it also often misleads and produces a rush to judgment and fear), and cell phones provide instant access to spouses and relatives. I can attest that when one of our grandchildren is sick, we all worry collectively, and our own children actively seek our input. This is both good and bad, because what if we give the wrong advice? What if we minimize something that is or could become serious? Minor bumps and bruises, tended to with kisses, hugs, shaking it off, and trendy band aids I can easily handle, but fret often when the potential to blossom into something bigger looms on the horizon. I like being needed and having my opinion and “wisdom” valued, but I do not relish the responsibility of diminishing something that could be serious.

Tip #44: All children will have accidents, contract illnesses, and fake it at some time during their growing years. The best we can do is be there to listen, offer suggestions and advice when asked, provide babysitting relief so parents do not have to miss work, and give them loving warmth and tender care. We are allowed to spoil them if they are left with us! (We can also spot a faker in two notes!). How do we know when it is time to worry? The only answer I have is instinct. You have it. Trust it. Now add your own tips and comments, please.

PS If you would like to receive a description of the raffle for a week's vacation at a resort owned by Resort Condominiums International which we are offering to the first 200 who purchase a ticket, please email me at : karen.weinhold@comcast.net. Grampy decided to ride in the Pan Mass Challenge this year, which raises money for cancer treatment and research. As a recent cancer survivor himself, he knows what it is like to battle the cancer beast, and wants to do what he can to help. You can read his profile/story by going to http://www.pmc.org/ where you go to profiles and type in Chuck Weinhold. That will also lead you to the link for Team Emma's Enchantment, which is the team on which he will ride. All contributions are 100% tax deductible.