On Participatory Grandparenting:
You need to jump right in, both feet, eyes wide open, when it comes to doing things with your grandchildren. I hadn't been in a swimming pool or lake in years, and it had been decades since I sat on a sled and swooshed down a hill. I don't have many pictures of me doing these things since most of the time I am the photographer, and, believe me, I was holding on to my granddaughter and the sled for dear life!
Recently we accompanied our daughter and granddaughter to the Make-A-Wish night at the Verizon Wireless Arena for Disney's Princesses on Ice Skating Show. All around us were grandparents with tiaras (yes, granddads too!), little girls with hands tightly clasped in larger, veined but still strong adult hands. One grandmother was barely tall enough to see, but she sat up tall in her seat wearing a crown! At first it was her contagious grin that caught our attention, and we watched in silent admiration as she and her granddaughter put their heads together and gossiped about the prince.
Grandparenting is not a spectator sport. To be fully engaged, you have to participate. Sometimes I see grandparents dozing through recitals, reading newspapers at games, or standing off to the side in classrooms during visiting days. I feel that they are missing the most fun. Your grandchildren will long remember you screaming alongside them in the haunted house (if you can get any one of them to go in there with you...I have had little luck with that!) or on the roller coaster. Sitting with them in the waves at the beach, or swimming to the dock at the lake, or riding bikes, playing hopscotch, etc. These things don't necessarily have to be physical, either.
Get down on the floor and build puzzles, climb into bed and read books, find a table and build a Lego construction. Bake cookies, make Jello, set the table together. Play hide 'n seek, board games, or sit arm and arm in the movies or at a play. Not only will they remember clearly that you were there with them, you will enjoy it so much more. You will feel younger (well, once you conquer your minor insecurities, such as fear of flying down the icy hill out of control and crashing!) and more alive than you have ever felt before. Splash each other, bury each other in leaves, have a snow ball fight. Get squirt guns and make sure it is warm outside.
We are basically technophobes, and our grandchildren love to teach us how to play games, visit exciting websites, and even play on the Wii. They beat us at most everything that involves technology, but they love being our teachers. I am astounded at how much patience they have as they try to explain DS's and play station and x-box and Rock Band....I don't think I have it straight even now. This is their world, so while we are busy sharing our grownup world with them, we need to take the time and show the interest in their world. You will endear youselves to them even more if you do!
