You Say It's Your Birthday......

You Say It’s Your Birthday……

Let me just say up front that I love birthdays, and not just my own (though I am growing a tad less fond of mine as I enter the nether realms of age….). It is the one day of the year that is entirely your own. You need marching bands, balloons, favors, and the people you love most to celebrate with you. You need birthday traditions, so each child knows what he/she is entitled to as the reigning birthday queen or king, and has certain things to look forward to each year.

For example, on your birthday in our family you get to choose your birthday meal, soup (no child ever chooses soup!) to nuts, and almost no holds barred. Owen turned five recently, and he selected cheese pizza, garden and fruit salad, garlic bread (probably the only time bread and pizza would be served together), cupcakes, and two kinds of ice cream. Yes, you may have some of both if you cannot make up your mind. Next week is Molly’s birthday, and she shared that she is opting for spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, cooked carrots, but did not mention dessert yet. Oh, and this meal selection holds true for the grownups as well. In addition to the version of “Happy Birthday” that ends each line with “cha, cha, cha” and booty shaking, you also get to pick whether you want the operatic, heavy metal, country western or traditional rendition sung to you by your guests.

Noah’s first birthday was an exercise in excess. We were all just plain nuts. I don’t remember how many people attended, or how many presents he received, but it was definitely over the top. I am pleased to say that sanity now prevails. Mostly the children have a venue party with a few guests their own age, often not on their actual birthday because of school. I know they have done bowling, Chucky Cheese, an arcade place now out of business, kids’ gym, karate, and (present favorite) a place called Jump Right In! which has those contraptions filled with balls into which the children jump. Most of these places provide cake, paper goods, and maybe even drinks, and then you leave the mess and go home. We are not expected to attend these events, for which we are most grateful. Typically we have a quiet dinner with the guest of honor. Since Ari’s birthday is on Halloween, the kids come early, have dinner with her, and then they all go out Trick or Treating in our neighborhood….kind of like double dipping!

Molly and Noah each sent out invitations that said, “No presents for me, please, but here is a list of things needed by David’s House (a place akin to the Ronald McDonald House where families of children needing treatment at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center can stay for whatever they can afford to pay) and had their guests provide those items if they wanted to bring something. As you can see by the picture, they got quite a haul, and then took a field trip to see the house and where their gifts were going. They still got gifts from family, but they had so much already that their parents thought this was a way to get them started thinking of others and sharing their good fortune.

We have had piñatas; some filled with toys, some with candy, and you pull ribbons rather than bash it with sticks. One tablecloth was actually a drawing pad, and the kids used the crayons to color on it while eating and waiting for the grand finale. The kids love pin the tale on the donkey, but do it with two sided tape rather than pins. They also love crowns and sitting at the head of the table.

Sometimes we get dressed up for the celebrations. Think about the investment in Halloween costumes that get worn only one day each year. How about wearing them to the birthday party? Pick a theme, or come as you are, or have a box of costumes there for the kids to don after they arrive. This will definitely liven things up a bit, and make it all a bit more interesting!

Now that we are grandparents, we are more concerned with our gifts being meaningful, having some relevance. Many children have savings accounts, or even special accounts into which you can deposit money and it will not impact taxes. Savings bonds are still a decent idea. Magazine subscriptions bring a gift to the door 12 months of the year. Check out National Geographic Little Kids and then graduate to Kids. Cobblestone and Cricket, American Girl, Ranger Rick and Nickelodeon all have publications. I buy clothes at the end of the season, so now for Molly I have summer things I bought last August at a fraction of their cost if I was to go to the store today. Marshall’s and TJ Maxx continue to carry very “cool” clothing, desirable designer and brand names, good quality, but yet reasonable. Gift cards to bookstores also make a great gift, since it is hard to know what books/puzzles they already have. Webkinz have been top of the list for a while now, but, again, unless you get a specific assignment (Owen wanted a turtle), it is hard not to replicate. We have worked hard for our discretionary funds and do not wish to waste them on foolishness or more “stuff” to add to the clutter. We discuss options both with the parents and the children. Then we do what we want. We are the grandparents.

Tip #19: Make birthdays extra special by making a big deal out of them, though that does not necessarily mean spending a lot of money. Make sure you send a card in the mail as children love receiving post. If you can find a way to teach them to share their good fortune, all the better. Join in the celebration and help to make them feel they are VIPs for the day. Take tons of pictures, and don’t spare the hugs. Birthdays offer the opportunity to do what we do best: indulge ‘em!